All You Need to Know About Braylon Edwards

When I think about Braylon Edwards I don’t think about the Michigan State game or the dropped passes or the number one jersey. I think about the time I saw him at Meijer.

One time I went to Meijer with my roommate on a Thursday night in the middle of fall, I think it was 2003. Anyone who has ever shopped at Meijer in Ann Arbor knows that this is the best possible time to go there because the store is practically empty except for the people who are restocking the shelves. Apparently, Braylon Edwards also knew this when he was in Ann Arbor because we ran into him there one time.

We noticed him and some guy who was pushing his cart when we were walking in and didn’t pay much attention to him, although I’m sure he would have loved it if we would have come up and asked him for an autograph. But as we were checking out he got in line behind us with the guy who was pushing his cart. This guy may have been his friend because I’m guessing when you’re friends with Braylon Edwards he assigns you tasks like pushing his shopping cart and buying him groceries, but whoever he was also had the task of building up Braylon’s ego. As he unloaded Braylon’s cart and put wine cooler after wine cooler on the conveyor belt, Braylon asked him question after question about the prior week’s game. “Yo, how many yards did I have again?” “What was my best catch?” “What about that one where I went across the middle?” I can’t imagine why anyone would put up with such an insufferable asshole unless they were getting paid, or were hoping to get paid in the future.

Five minutes in line at the grocery store told me all I needed to know about Braylon Edwards, so it wasn’t too surprising to hear that he rooted against his university because the head coach didn’t understand the tradition of the fucking number one jersey. Glad to hear that Brady Hoke made him feel welcome again though.

2 Comments

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2 responses to “All You Need to Know About Braylon Edwards

  1. Dan

    I remember this as well, but mostly the dropped passes. Also in retrospect that may have been his boyfriend buying his groceries. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  2. Stu

    Thank you for revisiting one of my favorite college stories. I was happy to later have my own run-in with that douche, the time when he was eating Mr. Spots and drinking 40s at BTB and his boy asked the guy at the counter if they had ketchup.

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